She said

"Please don't ask me to wake you up."

Credit to Pinterest

Admittedly (and I am not even sheepish about it), I am not a morning person. Most mornings start with a bleary-eyed battle to locate the snooze button on my alarm clock --- what a pitiful attempt to gain more a few more minutes' of shut-eye! It then takes about an hour - and a half liter of coffee - for me to get over the morning drowsiness and become a semi-functional human being.

Waking up for me is a process involving long stretches of time spent purring, scrunching my hair thinking I look cute and sitting up in bed hoping against hope that I've managed to perfect that just-got-out-of-bed, rumpled after-sex look. This process takes up about an hour from when I've hit the snooze button for the nth time since my alarm sounded. So you can't really blame Ms. Cranky Rogers for her vehement declaration (methinks she spent about 3 goddamn freaking hours getting me to jump out of bed this morning). 

Alright, alright! Jump is a strong word but you get the drift. Har dee har har.

My inability to wake up on time in the mornings can't be explained by how I spend the rest of my workday alone. It's a culmination of my genetic make-up, biological conditioning and environmental factors which I do not plan to do anything about. Why? Of course, I need to earn money, make my dreams come true and avoid irking Ms. Cranky Rogers but... Lord help me! I love sleeping in too much.




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Ooze! 

Yes, this word perfectly describes how I wake up in the morning. I ooze out of bed like a blob.