Sweetheart,
I know this wasn't such a good morning. I'd hope it would be but sometimes the not-so-good has a way of sneaking up. And for that I am sorry. I know you're upset and that is the reason for my silence. I am silent not because I don't care or have ceased to be moved by you. I am quiet because I want to give you space but know that I am truly sorry for how the morning turned out. You know that if I could, I'd do eveything in my power to turn it around.
I can't stand seeing you upset. I can't stand knowing that you're disappointed more so when I know the reasons behind it. It kills me to not have done everything to avoid the morning breaking. Since the day I met you, I've always had the insane urge to take care of you, to protect you and while I haven't been perfect or quite the way you might have hoped I would be -- yes, I've disappointed you -- always remember that it hits me, too -- the disappointment.
I want to be a lot of things to you. I want to give you reasons to smile when all you want to do is huff and puff at the world. I want to create a safe place for you, something impenetrable by wordly disappointments.
You've had your lion's share of disappointments and that has scarred you some, hardened you even. But I see the person you are now and I'm proud that you're strong enough to keep on. You have immeasurable strength, my love, one of the reasons why my heart gravitates toward you so.
I pray the fog lifts this morning. I pray that you won't let this dictate how your day will turn out. I will try to make it better in any way I can, in increments, in bit by loving bit. I hope Vietnam weaves it's magic and that the unfamiliarity of the place will remind you that there is beauty in wonderment. There is beauty in the strange.
I love you. I doubt that I will ever stop even if life or fate or what have you has other plans for us. I doubt we will ever end. At least, I pray that we don't. It all rests on us. We hold responsibility for these hearts. Regardless, I will always be waiting. I am already there, waiting.
Mahal, ang dami ko nang pinagbibigay sa mundo. Kahit ikaw na lang sana maiwan.
All things considered, have a good day! Eat well and don't forget to stop and admire Ho Chi Minh's fine French architecture. Bask yourself in its somewhat otherworldy charms. And I hope that it somehow makes you smile.
I'm sorry. I could have done more.
I love you the longest time,
Tata
